Business trip down memory lane

I'm blessed to have a job where I can pick up & go schedule appointments in other cities. So, I do! I love being in my car, windows down & music up... for some reason it's the only place in life where I feel like I can escape & I'm just in control. Right now, there are lots of things out of my control in life, and the older you get, sometimes, the more you long for the simple time when you were young.
I know there are reasons my life changed the way it did when I moved, but there will always be a part of me that misses Kingwood so much. I've been praying for an opportunity to go there & just reminisce, just drive around without an agenda, without anyone else, just me & where I grew up. My prayers were answered when I was able to schedule a big Mary Kay party in Houston, with an old friend from Kingwood... it was totally unexpected but such a blessing!
After my party, I drove to Kingwood. I started crying as soon as I crossed the railroad tracks. And then I cried more as I drove past landmarks from my life like my church, my elementary & middle schools, the house I grew up in, the greenbelts I played on & the "pink house" of my dreams that I would someday live in... which isn't pink anymore btw, huge disappointment!
I miss it. I miss the trees & the greenbelts & the houses. I miss my home. I miss my relationships with people in Kingwood. I miss feeling at home there. I'm beyond thankful for my life to this point & the blessings that have come from my move 13 years ago, but there will always one true "home" to me, and that's it. And sometimes you just have to go see it & remember.
I wish I could have spent more time there. I had plans to visit River Grove & eat at J. Christoper's, but I plan on saving some things until Chris is able to come with me. It's probably good that he was busy working & I took the trip by myself; I feel like it's what I've needed lately. People can say they don't know me & I've changed or whatever, but I haven't. I know where I came from. And I think perhaps the reason I've missed physically being in Kingwood is because I finally mentally left Kingwood. That probably doesn't make sense to anyone but me... but idk, maybe it does. Things will never be the same & maybe I'm finally accepting that. Yeah, finally, after 13 years; some things affect people in ways you can't imagine because it's simply not the way it affects you (idk a lot of people that cry over a move the y had to make when they were 15, but I do, still). I don't think anyone will ever understand my story except me, and that's ok. But just because people move on, it doesn't mean you don't know them, it doesn't mean they've changed, it just means maybe they've finally found their path in life.
Mine started in Kingwood & has taken me elsewhere. But I always come home & back to where I started. My struggle in life now is looking at those memories fondly instead of longing for my life to be THAT any longer. I spent a lot of time being resentful instead of opening my eyes to a life that God was willing to offer me. Maybe I'm finally realizing there's a bigger & better plan. Maybe I lost my faith for a long time, and maybe it's coming back stronger than ever. Maybe at the age of 29, I'm finally starting to realize that the biggest blessings in life come from the biggest tragedies, or what seem to be tragedies at the time.
I have lived my life safe up to this point, but no longer. I can visit my past but not dwell on the things that could have been, but my God, Cassie, don't you see how much better it is now? Don't you trust that God knows far better than you?! I can visit, I can reminisce, but now I can choose to no longer be sad. And when I need to go to Kingwood & think back to my simple, spoiled life, I can. But I don't need to cling to it.
I don't care if I don't make sense or I'm not predictable anymore. I'm me. I have opinions, I have feelings, I have struggles as well as triumphs. I have FAITH. I have a God that loves me and a blessed life no matter what comes my way. I don't understand my life right now, just like I didn't understand the move back then. But I'm pretty sure 10-15 years down the road, I'll look back at where I'm living now and the life that's been happening,  and I'll know it was all leading to my even better life in the future. Just keep going, Cassie, don't look back. And pray. And trust.

Road trip!

My view, inside & outside the car yesterday as I drove to Austin :-)
Mo Monkey, Mo Monkey, Mo!

Roadtrippin'

Happy weekend! Welcome to Austin! I'm down for the week visiting Chris and the OTHER Chris, aka my brother... can you believe my boyfriend AND my brother are named Chris? You're probably thinking that could be confusing... yeah... it is! But how wonderful is it that I can drive 3 hours and be in one of the coolest cities in Texas and visit both of them?!

I like to travel, even if it is from Fort Worth to Austin and back. And I love being in the car for my travels. We live in a world based on speed; how fast can you get there, how quickly can you get it done, when are you moving on to the next thing? Most people would probably rather fly, especially when you take frequent trips to a place nearby. Not me! Give me my car! Because really, what's so wrong with taking some time to get somewhere? Why should everything I do be based on how fast I can do it? Why should I hop a plane and sit silently next to someone I don't know and more than likely, someone that doesn't want to know me because they're grumpy about the flight they're on? Something tells me there's many more friendly, interesting people to encounter along the road, especially in Texas!

There is no place I love to be more than my car! There is nothing better than a mix CD, windows down, sunroof open and an iced tea next to me as I fly down the Texas highways! Yes it's gas money and time and car maintenance, but it's also freedom! I suggest we all step back from life and take a minute to realize how fast we try to move through it... everything can slow down a little bit if you make an effort. Why not enjoy some quiet time to yourself instead of stressing yourself with making a flight on time, limiting the size of your luggage, throwing out all your liquids or putting them in individual bags, getting dressed just so you can strip in public and be searched for things you wouldn't even dream of bringing with you... why not put some effort into getting yourself where you need to go, maybe basing a decision on what you may get out of it, and not just how you can save some money and/or time?

Don't get me wrong, I know in a down economy every one must cut corners, everyone needs to think about time and money... but don't we all do that a little TOO much? Haven't we all forgotten that one amazing roadtrip memory we have? You know... like when you were in college and Jill's car started to overheat and smoke on the highway on a trip to Houston and you have to putt along until you make it to Wal-Mart for some anti-freeze! "Swing swing swing from the tangles of my heart"... yes that's actually one of my true college stories! Or the first roadtrip you took with your significant other, or the first roadtrip you took with your kids... I'm willing to bet every single person has at least one great memory of being in the car.  Now how many great memories do you have of being on a plane? Just sayin'...

I say we all step back a little from our crazy technological shortcut world, our apps to book flights and restaurant reservations, our text messages and tweets, and maybe we remember a time that was not that long ago... a time when adventure was not "checking-in" to the spot where everyone already is, but rather a time when we just jumped in our cars and went! That's my favorite thing about my roadtrips... I may not have a new destination every time, but you can bet the scenery along the way changes each time. I can choose a different route, I can choose a different rest stop, I'm in control and can change my path at any point and it's that freedom that never allows me to get sick of the I-35 drive. I could focus on the destination and getting there quickly, but I choose to enjoy the drive :-)