nesting

 Apparently I am in full-on nesting mode.  I'm 26 weeks pregnant and all I can think about is getting our house ready.  Even without the pregnancy, I think I'd still be freaking out a little bit... there's a lot on my plate right now.  We currently own two homes.  We've been cleaning out our downtown condo and getting it ready for sale, but it's not getting done very quickly because there are numerous interruptions.  First of all, Chris works a night shift and sleeps during the day.  I can pack small things and organize stuff, but when it comes to moving boxes, I'm pretty much helpless right now.  I hate that I can't do more and it leaves me feeling pretty down some days.  That and it's just an overwhelming task.  I had grand goals of sorting through everything and not taking anything to the house that we don't need, but that was quickly thrown out the window because there simply isn't time.

On top of us moving, we have family members moving.  My time has been split between cleaning out our condo, going to Austin to help with fixing up and staging of a family member's house, attempting to help my in-laws house hunt (wish I could have done more of that simply because I love looking at houses), setting up our new house (which is over 100 years old so we've already encountered plumbing problems and a massive flea infestation in our yard), and you know, growing a human inside of me.  And then you can add in furniture shopping, odds and ends, paying bills, baby shopping, etc.  Oh, and finishing out counseling and working on getting our finances in order before the baby comes.  So needless to say, I've been a little overwhelmed.  I could also mention how it's a huge goal of mine to continue growing my blog and social media... and running my Mary Kay business... both of which take self-discipline because I am self-employed.  I haven't been great about balancing everything lately and it's really catching up to me.

I currently have one of two types of days... one where I wake up fully motivated and feeling like a badass that can tackle anything, or one where I wake up dreading the day and end up separating myself from anyone else (including my pets) so I can just cry for awhile and wonder how the hell I'm going to get all of this done.  Thankfully, I have more positive days than negative.  But I can see myself losing control of my emotions sometimes.  And then I feel like a shitty mother because I know I shouldn't get too upset because everything I put my body through (raised blood pressure, negative energy, etc) I know I'm also putting my baby through.

So what am I doing?  Besides literally just trying to get through each day... I'm trying to focus on little victories.  I'm trying to be really happy over any little thing that I accomplish, and for now, that's working pretty well.  I'm in full-on nesting mode, for sure.  I mostly want to do things for the new house... get this piece of furniture or hang this one picture or arrange in my head where things are going to go, even if I can't put them there yet.  And of course that involves my baby's room.  We don't have a crib or a dresser or a glider yet, or any of the major things for that room we need.  But I have found myself satisfied and extremely happy over the smallest things... like getting pink hangers and hanging up the clothes we have so far.  Or figuring out the layout of the room and what I want it to look like. 

And it's not just the baby room, it's any little thing I can get done for the house.  I can't tell you how excited I was because we finally got a toilet paper holder for our guest bathroom and a shower caddy for our master bathroom (thank you TJMaxx and Marshalls).  Every single little thing makes me feel a little bit better, a little closer to my dream home.  And the best part about that is that my husband understands.  He runs around town with me from store to store, letting me buy little things here and there for the house and he doesn't complain or say no.  Even with budget restrictions right now, he's letting me do my thing and that's so helpful.  He even told me a few weeks ago that he knew I was in nesting mode because he read about it in his daddy book (be still my heart... thank you hubby)

The other thing I've been really concentrating on lately is my quiet time with God.  My normal routine when I first wake up is to check all my social media and make to-do lists for the day.  And while that hasn't changed a whole lot, I'm trying to take more time for Bible reading in the morning, as opposed to right before bed like I used to.  I still like reading Bible verses before bed because I think it takes my mind off the day, quiets me and slows me down so I'm able to relax more.  But I'm really starting to value that more in the morning than night.  There's been a common theme in the passages I've read lately during my morning coffee... to not worry, to focus on God and not the daily distractions and to spend more time with Him.  And it's truly what I need.  I'm not a person that likes asking for help from people and I'm a certified control-freak so I've very much so taken on too much in the past few months.  And I'm running out of time before baby girl Altizer arrives, so I could be freaking out a lot.  I'm still having panic moments for sure, but I think I'm doing better than I expected.  I owe that to my quiet time and focusing more on God and His plan, not my own. (Follow me on snapchat because I love posting parts of my Bible verses! username: TX.Sass)

Chris was recently called back to the railroad and will be starting training again in August.  This means we have less than a month to get a lot of stuff done.  It also means not having a clue what his schedule will be like when I'm at my most pregnant, giving birth, and the first weeks/ months of our baby's life.  I am beyond thankful he's getting to go back to doing what he loves but I'm also scared.  But I'm trying not to be scared.  I'm trying so hard to know that everything will be ok and this is God's plan and it will all work out.  I'm trying so hard to keep my emotions in check and if I start to feel panic, I'm trying to quiet myself and focus on God, not me.  I know I'm a strong woman and I can handle a lot.  Things not going according to my plan and my timing- that's what I've always struggled with.  So that's what I'm focusing on- letting go and putting everything in His hands.

My house may not be perfect right now, but I have a beautiful home with more than enough space for my family.  Our condo may still be a mess but I have a home that we will be selling and we'll have more money in our pockets later.  I have a husband with an uncertain schedule, but I HAVE A HUSBAND who loves me dearly and works his ass off for me and our future child.  I have pets that drive me nuts and seem to ruin everything but I have pets that calm me down, protect my house and make me feel loved and safe.  I have a lot going on but it's because I have a beautiful life, full of adventures and loved ones.  I have businesses to run but I'm blessed to work on my own schedule, be my own boss and do what I love.  I have bills to pay but I have an amazing doctor caring for my unborn child and a safe place to go when she's ready to arrive.  I am beyond blessed and I'm doing my best and I'm trusting God... so everything will be fine.

*I can't wait to get more done with our nursery and our home in general and I look forward to sharing it in the future!*

If you have any favorite Bible verses I'd love to hear them!  Or ways that you tackle each day or handle overwhelming situations.  I'm thankful for an online community and each reader I have and I'd love to know more about you.