I'm pregnant! The good, the bad and the ugly

Ok well there's been a huge break in my writing and it's because of a couple things actually.  I mentioned last time that there's been A LOT happening, and well, yeah, there has!  Chris and I have been busy moving.  We closed on our house at the end of March and we've been slowly moving out of our condo since.  It's nice being able to take our time, but also a little stressful at times since we know we don't have a particular deadline and we end up taking breaks.  But we're mostly moved into the house now (except large furniture because we're staging our condo for sale... 1 bedroom / 1 bathroom in downtown Fort Worth anyone??)  Unfortunately, since we're paying bills on both places, we haven't sprung for the cable and internet hookup yet at the house, so I'm left without internet.

On top of the move, if you follow me on Instagram, you've already heard that I am pregnant!!  This has been a huge adjustment and another reason I haven't written much lately.  When we found out I was pregnant, we had to move quickly on finding a house because our condo would not work at all to raise a child.  So it really put us in a time crunch and I had to drop everything else.  My blogging, my event-going and all my Mary Kay work have taken a major backseat these past few months.  It's been a very exciting time, but also a time period where I felt like my schedule was completely lost.  Not to mention, this is all on top of my husband working a night shift and sleeping during the day.  

So, yeah, it's been a little crazy.  It makes me sad to take huge breaks in my writing, but it was just necessary.  And frankly, during my first trimester and all these changes, I didn't feel much like myself and I didn't have as much motivation to write.  But now that our move is winding down and I'm into my second trimester, I'm feeling a sense of normalcy again.  I've been brainstorming the last few weeks about my first trimester and things I'd like to share and I thought it'd be nice to just do an easy list of my positives and negatives.  So behold, my Good, Bad and Ugly list of my first trimester.  I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments when you're done reading!

My First Trimester: The good, the bad & the ugly

(I'm going to start with the ugly and move to the good, because I'd much rather end on a high note)

Ugly:

·      Acne- I already struggle with adult acne and believe me, it's not fun.  Mine is totally hormonal which means my skincare doesn't play a huge part and aside from taking medication, there's not a whole lot I can do.  Being on birth control helped a lot, but well, obviously that's been out the door for awhile.  My breakout have been really bad and it's left me feeling defeated and, well, ugly!  I know it's something that happens a lot during pregnancy, but it's still unbelievably frustrating.  I haven't done any fashion posts or felt like posing for pictures and this is a huge reason why.  

·      Feeling fat- Ok let me just start by saying I KNOW I'M NOT FAT.  But the thing is, I'm a tiny person.  I've been almost the exact same size since high school.  I literally have clothing from high school that I can still wear.  And when you've spent your entire life with the same body, it can really mess with your head when everything starts to change.  This applies mostly to only the very end of my first trimester and into my second.  My bump has only recently really "bumped".  Even without a ton of extra weight, there is a lingering full and bloated feeling that I am not used to and not a fan of.  I'm the queen of portion-control when I eat because I can't stand feeling "so full I could burst"... and now I feel like that whether I've stuffed my face or not.

·      Weakened immune system- I have always had a kick-ass immune system.  Aside from allergies, I really don't get sick often.  If you know me really well, you may have heard that I suffered severe food poisoning a little over a month ago.  I was so sick my husband had to take me to the ER.  I know the cause (FYI if you're in Flower Mound/ Highland Village/ Lewisville DON'T eat at Johnny Brusco's New York Style Pizza on 2499/Long Prairie Rd)... my mom got sick and so did my husband.  But they both only had mild issues.  Me, on the other hand, I was violently throwing up and so dehydrated that the hospital and and IV were my only option.  I have never been that sick in my life and it was terrifying.  It took me about 5 days to recover and not being able to eat that entire time worried me like crazy for my baby.

Bad:

·      Weird symptoms- I have been extremely lucky when it comes to a lot of things.  Example: I didn't have any morning sickness!  But the few weird symptoms I experienced were really annoying.  First of all, my taste for food changed a lot.  I would crave something specific and then take one bite and realize it didn't taste like I was expecting at all.  I also had a lot of trouble thinking of anything that sounded good to me very early on.  I would often have a really bad taste in my mouth (some women have a metallic taste, but mine wasn't that) and it would make me feel sick and ruin my appetite.  Worst of all, if I tried to chew gum or eat a mint, that would only make it worse.  My weirdest symptom, I think, was one that only lasted about two days and that was waking up with extremely itchy palms and an actual burning sensation in my hands.  It was the weirdest thing ever and very bothersome but thankfully it didn't last long.

·      Feeling “not myself”- I guess this totally makes sense since hormones are raging and your body is changing, but I felt weird and out of place for awhile.  I didn't have much motivation to do anything, especially blog or attend any events.  I kind of wanted to keep to myself.  I also love cooking and I didn't feel like doing that at all, so it left me eating out a lot, which left me feeling like crap because I wasn't eating as healthy as I could have been.

·      Feeling useless- I am the type of person that can't stand someone telling me I can't do something.  In fact, if you tell me that, I probably will just to spite you.  But when you're trying to be extremely careful in the beginning of a pregnancy, you have to limit yourself.  And I didn't like this at all.  Especially since we were house-hunting and then packing and moving.  I had daily guilt and sadness over not feeling like cooking dinner for my husband and dishes piling up and laundry not getting done, and then on top of that I felt bad every time someone told me "you shouldn't be doing that" or "you need to take it easy".  I knew I needed to take it easy (trust me, I was the most worried about something going wrong than anyone), but I didn't like hearing it.

·     Being extremely tired- This is totally normal in the beginning and there's a reason your body makes you tired... it's so you'll take it easy and let the development of your baby be the priority... but I was extremely tired.  Like fold one load of laundry and need to take a nap tired.  This played into the whole feeling useless thing.  And I felt even worse about it because I have friends pregnant at the same time as me (and a little ahead of me) and they work full time... I don't... so I thought to myself, "they're at work all day and I'm laying around the house".  It made me feel like shit.  But it is true, you get a lot of energy back when you hit your second trimester... thankfully.

·      Being overwhelmed and worried all the time- I am already a worrier and when you get pregnant and start hearing the rates of miscarriages, a person like me starts freaking out.  I didn't want to announce my pregnancy until well into my 12th week and that caused some fights between me and my husband.  Everyone was excited and wanting to talk about it and I was terrified and not wanting to talk about it.  I had severe anxiety about the whole thing and people telling me I'd be fine, or whatever happens will happen, didn't help AT ALL.  

·      Not drinking- Ok this may seem petty but I miss my wine, I miss having a beer when we go to festivals and I miss my mimosas during brunch.  I enjoy my social drinking and it kind of sucks when you can't :-)

·      Not being able to eat certain things- This also may seem petty but it's pretty annoying that I can't just eat a turkey sandwich without microwaving the meat, or eat a salad with soft cheese (unless I know for sure it's pasteurized)... these are little things but they are frustrating.

·      Not spending as much time outside or being able to go camping because of the fear of mosquito bites- I love being outdoors and I was really hoping to go camping again before the weather got hot in Texas, but with the crazy Zika Virus outbreak everywhere, I can't risk being in situations with a lot of mosquitos.  I'm very prone to getting bit and since I don't want to lather myself head to toe in strong bug spray, I have to avoid being outside a lot.  The Zika Virus is bad enough for a healthy person but it can cause all kinds of birth defects to a baby.  I'm not about to risk that to sit on a patio (especially without an adult beverage!)  I'm hoping I get a chance to get away in the fall, after our baby arrives, and maybe go camping for a night.  I miss my outdoor time.

Good:

·      Not scooping litter box- My husband may not agree since he's the one stuck doing this chore, but it has been really nice not having to do this!  

·      Everyone is nice to you- When people know you're pregnant, they constantly ask you how you feel and offer to do things for you.  Sometimes it can make you feel weird, but it can also be really nice sometimes.  Example, your mom cooking for you every time you're around :-)

·      Just an amazing feeling overall- There's a human growing inside me... I mean, that's pretty cool.  The first ultrasound is what made it feel very real.  Seeing your baby for the first time is an amazing feeling.

·      Always wanted to be a mother- I wanted to put off kids for a little while and just be married.  Chris has been patient with me in that.  Even though I was still super scared and nervous to get pregnant, I have always always wanted to be a mother.  I thought about it a lot.  I would think about having a child and what I'd teach them and what choices I would make in raising them, and now it's finally coming true!

·      Eating a lot and not being judged- This is pretty self-explanatory... you can stuff your face and no one cares... they'll probably cheer you on and offer you seconds... and thirds...

·      Bigger boobs- Also self-explanatory :-)  I'm a small person and I've never had much going on there haha... but that has improved and it makes me and my husband happy (LOL TMI??)

·      Seeing your husband so excited and happy- I have saved the best for last!  This truly is the absolute best part... seeing my husband so excited and happy... giddy almost... is awesome.  He has talked about kids since before we were married and he was thrilled when I told him I was pregnant.  Despite all the weird symptoms and changes, it makes everything worth it just to see his huge smile and the excitement he has.  It makes me more excited and less nervous and that's a blessing.

We did a photo shoot a little while ago for our gender reveal and I'll be sharing that soon!  If you've been pregnant or are pregnant now, I'd love to hear your feedback!  Did you have the same kind of first trimester as me?  Chris and I are so excited!!  I hope you enjoyed hearing about my first experiences as a mother-to-be :-)