I'm not real sure what to do with myself right now... thought writing might make me feel a little better, kinda like I'm getting it out instead of holding in. I miss Chris so much right now, it's ridiculous. I decided to get more comfy for evening tv, bc I'm not feeling that well... so I moved from the Living Room couch to my bed. Well, in my bed I have one of Chris' shirts to sleep with, bc it smells like him & it can just be really comforting sometimes... not tonight. As soon as I picked his shirt up to give it a hug, I burst into tears! Granted I don't feel well & I'm probably just being a baby right now... but for real, long distance is so hard sometimes. Chris and I have been together 3 & 1/2 years... not a single second of that have we lived in the same city. Things that other people take for granted, I long for... a hug, a kiss on the cheek, a note left on the counter, running stupid errands together, eating dinner together and talking about your day...
And when you don't have your loved one around, you depend on friends, right? Yeah well, I can't even remember the last time someone said to me, "Hey Cassie, that whole long distance thing, how's that going? How are you handling it? Are you doing ok?" And it's not that I think people don't care, it's just not what comes to mind I guess. I get questioned probably once a week when I will "finally" get married (seriously y'all, we're still young... I'm not the odd one for not getting married at 25, sheesh). But never the question about how I'm holding up... it would just be nice for someone to question how my present is going, not my future that hasn't happened yet.
The distance is worth it, I love Chris more than anything & I know God has a plan for us... this is all for some reason, whether I can see it now or not, but sometimes it just really hits me hard. I miss him like crazy right now. Hoping I feel better in the morning... meh :-/
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